Trust by Elanor House

He watched her turn to leave, wondering if she somehow knew the truth.

“Cuddy…” he called. She turned back to look at him. House raised a finger to beckon her closer, and she came. Resisting the urge to crack the old joke, he cleared his throat. “You did it again…”

“Did what?” she asked, leaning on the desk.

“That…thing…you did a few months ago…” At her confused look, he rolled his eyes and elaborated. “When we had that environmentalist guy… and you thought Cameron wanted me. And I told you she didn’t, and you just walked away…”

“You remember that?” Cuddy asked, surprised.

“Hard to forget… Considering it interested me, and I’m still trying to figure out why…” House admitted. He ignored the faint blush on Cuddy’s cheeks and picked up his train of thought. “Anyway…my point is. You did it again. You asked me something. I told you what it wasn’t. You seem satisfied. It interests me.”

“House…You said it wasn’t you, and you said it wasn’t Foreman. I have to trust you. I have to trust that you’ve really changed. And I have to trust that I can trust you… If you said it wasn’t you, I believe you. If you said it wasn’t Foreman, I believe you.”

House blinked at her. He stared at her, then blinked some more. He’d done something sneaky and underhanded for reasons he couldn’t even fathom, and had denied it. And Cuddy believed him.

Actually believed him.

Wow. House didn’t know if he’d be able to ever tell her the truth. If he even wanted to…

“Cuddy… you said it yourself. You can’t take me at my word because I’m an addict. Sure, I’m a recovered addict, but still. You can’t just blindly trust me… unless you have a reason.” He smirked and narrowed his eyes slightly. “You do have a reason for blindly trusting me…”

“House. My reasons are my own.”

“You’re deflecting. Anytime I ask your reasons for something, you deflect. Why’d you hire me? Your reason is your own. Why do you let me get away with more shit than any other doctor in this hospital? Your reason is weak. Why did we sleep together in college? Why’d we sleep together back in January?”

“House!” Cuddy blushed. “Can we please not talk about this right now?”

“Lisa… if we don’t talk about it now, we’ll never talk about it… I have to know why you trust me.” He watched her say nothing. He watched her close her eyes and look at the floor. He watched her blush slightly and he raised an eyebrow in interest.

“I will talk about it when I want to talk about it…” she finally answered. She turned to leave, but stopped briefly at the door, wondering if House would call her back again.

“Lisa…if you’re going to trust me…do it for the right reasons.”

She turned her head to look at him, but stayed by the door. Her eyes showed nothing but the way she stood asked him what he meant.

“It was me. Don’t tell Thirteen…don’t tell Foreman. Don’t tell anyone.” He looked up at her, complete seriousness on his face.

“Why?”

“I don’t know… I honestly don’t know…”

“I meant about not telling anyone. Why?”

“They all think I’ve changed…or at least want to think that I’m trying to change. And I am trying… I know it doesn’t make any sense, but when I figure it out myself, I’ll let you know…” Surprisingly, Cuddy seemed to accept that, and he watched her turn back and leave the ICU. Once she’d left, he finally went to the door of the patient’s room and slid it open. He didn’t look back.